I would love to call you by your name, but as you and I understand, we need to keep this anonymous. So I call you ‘donor’ and I hope you feel addressed as a being very special in my life.
There is much I cannot write about because of the restrictions the donor-system brings forward. That’s why I have waited some time to write you. To find the words to express how it made me feel that you were so generous to be my donor, to give a piece of yourself to an unknown human being.
Literally, but more so figuratively you gave me a new life.
There is a life before and a life after this stem-cell transplantation, a marked moment for me. This is not about if I am healthy now or not. It’s about the moment things changed on so many levels: physical (you changed my DNA!), but also mind, heart and spirit.
I never saw my illness as bad luck, I decided to look at it as something on my path that needs to be there, to bring me lessons I would never have learned so quick without this happening. Being so ill is really hurtful, full of pain, anxiety, hopelesnes, despair, depression, and more. But at the same time it brings the most beautiful insights on life, re-connecting, deepening relations and friendships. Above all a deep wish to live.
You are part of this. You, a stranger somewhere in the world, giving me a part of him/herself, your stem-cells as a symbol for new life and new insights were given to me. Which I see as a big and beautiful gift.
As sort of thank you, I want to share with you how beautiful the moment was your stem-cells flowed into my arm, in my veigns, in all of my body. I consciously chose to not ‘just do it’ but to make a ceremony of it. I chose the people with care who were in the room with me, we held hands and shared our gratitudes, in which you were mentioned of course. We played music that’s very special to me in the background. Also there were almost two hundred people all over the world thinking about me visualizing your cells fluently flowing into my body at exactly the time the transplantation took place. So there was so many energy, gratitude and light. It even had a sacred touch to it.
I will always remember that one moment your stem-cells entered my body. I remember exactly the place were they entered my body, in my left arm, a bit beneath my wrist. I remember the music I heard at that exact same time. I remember being filled with an amount of gratitude I never felt before, I never even knew about it’s existence. Such a deep level of gratitude. There are no words to describe that exactly, but know it had to do a lot with you being willing to give me this gift, this part of yourself.
You have been an example for people surrounding me to also become a donor. So I hope we can give more people this gift. I wish everybody who has to deal with this disease, to have someone in the world willing to give what you gave me.
Without you knowing or me telling you how I am now, I want to thank you with all of my heart and more, for your gesture, your gift. For all that you had to go through to be able to be my donor.
As long as I live, I will send you love.
Thank you, so much.
Dit is de brief die ik schreef aan mijn anonieme stamcel-donor, die mij in september 2014 zijn/haar donorcellen gaf. De brief is via de medewerkers van het UMCG gestuurd naar het bureau dat contact had met de donor.
De reden dat ik het hier openbaar maak, is dat ik hoop een inkijkje te geven in mijn leven, in de rol van de donor in mijn leven, en zo bewustzijn hoop te vergroten voor het belang van de aanwezigheid van stamcel-donoren.
In Nederland is hier relatief weinig over bekend. In andere landen is dat anders. Bv in Duitsland is 1 op de 3 mensen donor. Als iemand gebruik maakt van de donor-bank, gaat het om een wereldwijde donor-bank. Het gaat om het vinden van de juiste match. Maakt niet uit uit welk land die komt. Maar hoe fijn zou het zijn als wij Nederlanders wat meer gaan bijdragen aan die donor-bank, en niet grotendeels ‘nemen’?
Als het zou kunnen en mogen zou ik direct donor worden, op alle vlakken. Voordat ik ziek werd dacht ik daar anders over. Maar nu ken ik het belang. Helaas ben ik lichamelijk ‘niet meer goed’ genoeg’ voor welke donatie dan ook. Wat ik wel kan is jullie hierover vertellen en de weg wijzen naar hoe jij kunt bijdragen (in dit blog staat de link).